ON more than one occasion, recently, I have described myself as an 'old school Penty'.
I became a Christian in a small-ish Pentecostal Church built on the faith of people saved in legendary revivals which had impacted the central belt of Scotland. The fact the building was a former pool hall should say it all.
I made the decision to give my life to Jesus when someone pointed me out of the crowd and said 'God wants to use you', and for years I was the first in line for EVERY backsliders' appeal. A weekly question asked, by an ageing, but broad Scots' evangelist, was 'are you gled yer saved?'. What I had been given by God was not easily forgotten. Watching 'A Thief in the Night' sealed the deal.
Having no Christian background really, getting 'saved' just as the Toronto Blessing hit our shores was an interesting time. I recall getting in a mini-bus to go to a larger church in another town to hear the mighty Don Fransico sing, before the worshippers fell to the floor like some invisible - but hilarious - battle had taken place and all the Christians in the place had been slain.
I say all this, although a little tongue-in-cheek, because I want you to understand my context.
My heritage as a Christian is as an Assemblies of God, Pentecostal, Spirit-filled believer. In case I get complacent about the impact the Holy Spirit can have on people's lives I constantly live in the book of Acts and read and re-read The Cross and the Switchblade every single year.
There have been times in my life when the words of Romans 8:26 ans 27
(In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.)
have been so real and evident and obvious that I could not deny the comforting, necessary, role of the Holy Spirit in my life and relationship with God. You don't have five miscarriages without going in a huff with God. Isn't it an interesting dichotomy that in our hardest moments we want to reject and yet need more-than-ever the love of the Father?
Even within my own ministry I have a conviction that people need, not that they should opt in or out, but NEED a baptism in the Holy Spirit. Don't misunderstand me, this isn't so we can stick to a list of fundamentals pedantically certain of what the evidence of the Holy Spirit infilling is. No, I mean, I am convinced that we NEED our lives to be empowered by the Holy Spirit just to navigate this 21st Century world we live in, and that's before we even think through the tools needed to evangelise a post modern / pre-Christian / Faith-eist world. How can we even begin to live out His Kingdom rule without a measure of Him dominant in our lives?
So I still make room for people to experience the Holy Spirit, to seek His gifts and to exercise speaking in tongues among other things, to both build up themselves and others.
This is who I am.
I am a local church girl, who believes the Holy Spirit moves and acts and empowers and equips and fills up and blesses and gifts and leads and comforts and drives me, and others, on today and until Christ returns.
I am no way anti-Holy Spirit.
I am however, a teensy bit Charis-sceptic.
No, I am not sceptical of the Holy Spirit. I am, and you can blame the journalism background if you like, left wondering why all of-a-sudden we back in the days of wanting to wallow in the Spirit?
Here's what got me thinking about it.
I was brushing my teeth and looking in the mirror. Over my shoulder I saw my small son putting on his shoes. "he's so clever,' I thought, 'doing that all on his own.' And for a brief moment I marvelled at how incredible God was both for my giving me this child and for designing him so marvellously in the first place.
I looked at him with awe (not always the case - and certainly not so at 5am this morning) and genuinely took a moment to thank God for him.
And then, who knows how my brain works, it jumped to a second train of thought that could be summed up like this:
"I wonder if God is sad that we feel at times we NEED a touch from Him, or a word from Him, or a freaky, hairs-on-the-back-of-your-neck-standing-on-end meeting to continue to believe in Him?"
See, when we give our lives to Jesus, put simply, through the Holy Spirit, He lives in us.
He is there.
No, wherever you are, He is HERE.
The psalmist writes, "where can I go to escape your presence," and yet, because we are 21stC people, over stimulated in every way (we cannot even wait the four minutes for a pot noodle without getting bored and giving up), despite the fact we live in a world, so outrageously well designed, that we can enjoy via the miracle that is our senses and our bodies, also 'knitted together' so well, we can at times question and dare to ask, 'are you really there God, because I can't feel you?
Excuse my over active imagination, but I like to think God gets annoyed by such immature nonsense. "You can't feel me???" he might say, "no wonder... I gave you my Word and it says I inhabit your PRAISE. Stop moaning and worship!"
Or what about, "God, I need a word from you?".
No, you need a relationship with Him. Maybe if we devoted ourselves to Him and His word that we would be so full of truth (truth that He loves us, that he has plans for us, that He wants us to serve him, that we have a mandate to remain faithful, that we are empowered to reach out to a lost and dying world to bring them the truth and the Good News of Jesus) and hope and love and life that we wouldn't need to constantly HEAR from Him but we would instead KNOW Him. I don't need my now late grandad to be with me 24-7 for me to know what he wanted for my life. I knew him and he knew me. As a child he instilled it in me, all those values and expectations. As an adult it was there. In me.
So come on, baby Christians, we need to grow up.
I long for the day when the Church will be full of genuine miracles. People being healed and set free from addictions, minds renewed, bodies transformed... but not so that makes ME feel good. Dear God, let this never be about how it makes ME feel. As if the work of the Holy Spirit is ALL about me?
Oh wait, is that what we've been thinking?
That when Jesus
(who came to seek and save the lost, to buy us back from a life separated from God and who gave his life for OTHERS, and whose final commission to us was to go out and make disciples of all men in all places)
said he was sending 'another of the same' (paraclete John 14:16) - we have taken that to mean that he was sending another who is completely different?
That instead of having the outward focusing redemptive mission of Christ, the Spirit comes to be our cosmic comfort blanket assuring us, Michael Jackson style, that 'you are not alone, I am here with you.'
That when Jesus said to the disciples - wait here until you are clothed with power from on high - we have taken that to mean, in the Greek of course, that it's not so much about power as it is reassurance, not so much about mission as it is about blessing...
Please, please, please Spirit people... stop doubting your faith and start using it.
Stop wanting more of Him... for you... and instead use what you have of Him serving others and then let Him fill you back up.
Please begin to seek God's Spirit and presence and gifts, not to get you through a dry patch or a dark place but to equip you to 'run the race', to 'fight the good fight' and to see God move through you as you bring hope to others.
Determine that you CAN.
Set your heart for His cause.
Let's see lives miraculously shaped by the Holy Spirit - because we flippin' CAN.
Am I the only one daft enough to want a move of the Spirit, not to fuel a TV channel's content but to make God famous in our land?
I'll leave you with the words of a new Hillsong worship track from the Zion album. The song it titled 'Oceans' It sums up these thoughts of mine today - we have the privilege of a Spirit-filled life, let's use it for His Glory, not just for oursleves.
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour
