With Nathan and I 'moving room' within our church, seeing us moving from Teesside to Newcastle, a change of job and news of my grandmother's serious illness, there's a lot of emotions fighting for prominence in my head and heart. But a couple of things have happened - culminating in something I saw today, that sparked this little Marks and Spencer cafe musing.
Forgive the length of this. Brevity is not my friend. Here goes...
The first was at Christmas. Out of the blue we received a card from a girl who was part of our youth group when we were Youth Pastors in Dartford. Not only was there a Nando's gift card (she knows us well) but beautiful words thanking us for the part we played in building her faith while she was a teenager. In all honesty, it was a small part that we played, but none the less we were overwhelmed and humbled by her words and the fact that while she is now thriving in a great church, under fantastic leaders, she took the time to acknowledge two people who had for a relatively short time, been part of her Christian walk.
The next, was on getting the news that my Gran may only have weeks left with us. A prompt and disorganised trip to Scotland finished with me coughing out words that I hope she already knew, but that I simply HAD to say before we left. She is a huge and still significant part of who I am today and I couldn't let the opportunity pass, however snotty and teary it became, to tell her how grateful I am.
But this morning, en route to a meeting, just after the school run I noticed something that brought all these thoughts and experiences to a blog culmination. There, walking down the road, was a young guy, carrying a massive arrangement of flowers, heading to the graveyard. Excuse my absolute judgement at face value here but he didn't look the type to be a regular flower buyer (what was I expecting - Alan Titchmarsh???) but there he was, probably £50 poorer for his purchase of these beautiful flowers. This simple thought crossed my mind, 'I wonder if he bought them flowers while they were still alive?'
Now don't get me wrong, I love to see beautifully tended graves with families lovingly honoring the memory and life of their loved ones, I do. But imagine how sad it would be if the only flowers a person receives is after they have the ability to enjoy them.
Even worse, imagine if the only thanks a person is given, if the only acknowledgement awarded, is after it has the ability to impact the person being spoken about. Often these days we are able to showcase our blessings via Instagram or Facebook, right alongside our grievances and frustrations - but how often in the sea of mixed emotions do we take the time to stand back, take a look at the people we have become, and pay tribute the small army of those who will be responsible for getting you to where you are today?
And so by means of encouragement - in a bid to spark a mini movement of gratitude and flower buying - I want to say thank you to some people today.
It all starts of course with my parents who tried their best to dissuade me from this Christianity thing, but who inadvertently shaped me into a strong woman - and bearer of the world's best grandchildren. Your strong minds and opinions cultivated in me a drive to fight injustice and speak up for those who struggle. Thank you. I love you both.
Then there's the people in our home churches.
This is important. Because for me to be where I am today, at some point I had to LEAVE where I was. I say this because as the years have rolled on I have been on the opposite side of this. Where people have left my church, or my life. It hurts, let's be honest. But it's not the leaving per se. All of us have left somewhere to get to where we are now. Excuse my blatant honestly, but it's the lack of acknowledgement on leaving that I think is the hardest.
The first was at Christmas. Out of the blue we received a card from a girl who was part of our youth group when we were Youth Pastors in Dartford. Not only was there a Nando's gift card (she knows us well) but beautiful words thanking us for the part we played in building her faith while she was a teenager. In all honesty, it was a small part that we played, but none the less we were overwhelmed and humbled by her words and the fact that while she is now thriving in a great church, under fantastic leaders, she took the time to acknowledge two people who had for a relatively short time, been part of her Christian walk.
The next, was on getting the news that my Gran may only have weeks left with us. A prompt and disorganised trip to Scotland finished with me coughing out words that I hope she already knew, but that I simply HAD to say before we left. She is a huge and still significant part of who I am today and I couldn't let the opportunity pass, however snotty and teary it became, to tell her how grateful I am.
But this morning, en route to a meeting, just after the school run I noticed something that brought all these thoughts and experiences to a blog culmination. There, walking down the road, was a young guy, carrying a massive arrangement of flowers, heading to the graveyard. Excuse my absolute judgement at face value here but he didn't look the type to be a regular flower buyer (what was I expecting - Alan Titchmarsh???) but there he was, probably £50 poorer for his purchase of these beautiful flowers. This simple thought crossed my mind, 'I wonder if he bought them flowers while they were still alive?'
Now don't get me wrong, I love to see beautifully tended graves with families lovingly honoring the memory and life of their loved ones, I do. But imagine how sad it would be if the only flowers a person receives is after they have the ability to enjoy them.
Even worse, imagine if the only thanks a person is given, if the only acknowledgement awarded, is after it has the ability to impact the person being spoken about. Often these days we are able to showcase our blessings via Instagram or Facebook, right alongside our grievances and frustrations - but how often in the sea of mixed emotions do we take the time to stand back, take a look at the people we have become, and pay tribute the small army of those who will be responsible for getting you to where you are today?
And so by means of encouragement - in a bid to spark a mini movement of gratitude and flower buying - I want to say thank you to some people today.
It all starts of course with my parents who tried their best to dissuade me from this Christianity thing, but who inadvertently shaped me into a strong woman - and bearer of the world's best grandchildren. Your strong minds and opinions cultivated in me a drive to fight injustice and speak up for those who struggle. Thank you. I love you both.
Then there's the people in our home churches.
This is important. Because for me to be where I am today, at some point I had to LEAVE where I was. I say this because as the years have rolled on I have been on the opposite side of this. Where people have left my church, or my life. It hurts, let's be honest. But it's not the leaving per se. All of us have left somewhere to get to where we are now. Excuse my blatant honestly, but it's the lack of acknowledgement on leaving that I think is the hardest.
Often for people to even come to the conclusion that they want to leave one place for another means they have gone on an incredible spirit-filled, faith-led journey and are now pursuing more of God than ever before. I've seen people's lives flourish and then they go. I thank God for my time with them, and for his transformation in them but being human and all, I wonder if they've forgotten how far they've come. My pastor made a joke the other day, that he knows all the things he does wrong, because people tell him when they leave. Sad, isn't it?
But honestly, I would be found guilty of this too. It's easy to comment on the wrong, or to not comment at all, it takes much more humility and honour to acknowledge the right. This is my attempt at righting some of my own wrongs. There have been times, when I've been arrogant and outspoken and have 'left' without grace and love.
Sometimes I've done it well though :)
I remember phoning a pastor in Middlesbrough to tell her we had one of their young people coming to us now. I told her she had done a great job because we were so thankful this person was now part of 'us'. Apparently acknowledgement of previous investment was rare.
Nathan is from Dartford and I'm from Harthill. If it wasn't for the Galloways and the Curles and their extended families I doubt I would be here now. And I know for Nathan the ongoing love and support of Roy and Keely Morley was without doubt the biggest influence on his life and set him, and now us, up for ministry life. We are forever in your collective debt.
But honestly, I would be found guilty of this too. It's easy to comment on the wrong, or to not comment at all, it takes much more humility and honour to acknowledge the right. This is my attempt at righting some of my own wrongs. There have been times, when I've been arrogant and outspoken and have 'left' without grace and love.
Sometimes I've done it well though :)
I remember phoning a pastor in Middlesbrough to tell her we had one of their young people coming to us now. I told her she had done a great job because we were so thankful this person was now part of 'us'. Apparently acknowledgement of previous investment was rare.
Nathan is from Dartford and I'm from Harthill. If it wasn't for the Galloways and the Curles and their extended families I doubt I would be here now. And I know for Nathan the ongoing love and support of Roy and Keely Morley was without doubt the biggest influence on his life and set him, and now us, up for ministry life. We are forever in your collective debt.
Our first jobs out of bible college were in Dartford too and our senior pastors there, Ray and Janet Bindra, allowed us the freedom to cut our teeth and learn our craft. When we left we did it as well as we could, but thanks there needs to be given because on that occasion they probably felt, as I have done as a pastor, hurt. Before God we are truly grateful to you for giving us a chance, believing in us and giving us the freedom to teach - and paint walls hideous shades of blue and silver - (and dress your elders as widow Twankie for a panto) in your church. We love you both.
On moving up here Pastor Cliff Henderson took a chance on this young couple with a baby and said, 'go and plant a church' - he even sorted out some finance! He's still one of our biggest cheerleaders. Cliff and Olwyn, we love you.
And then there's Jon and Dee.
This is where it's crucially important.
Because we are with these people now, and have no intention of ever leaving.
So I don't have to say this. I want to.
Nathan and I have never known a couple who have invested so much - without ever considering a return for that investment. When we were yet to be part of NCLC they fed us (in every way - we still owe you at least one meal out!), nurtured us and pastored us, and now, as part of their community, they continue to believe in us and allow us the tremendous privilege of serving on their team. Jon Cook is probably one of the most gracious people I have ever known. That verse, about love covering a multitude of sins... God wrote that with Jon in mind. If you haven't seen that side of Jon you don't know him. Dee is just beautiful. In every flippin' way. But you can't be jealous because she's beautiful inside too. Thank you both. We consider your family ours.
To our friends. The real ones who rescue us, and love on us, and continue to want to be part of our lives, who understand our margins, or lack of them, and come to us, to the ones who we speak to once a year and are cool with that, to the ones who challenge us even when it hurts, to the ones who will be part of our lives - even from a distance - for ever. Thank you. To those who love my children, you are special to us - thank you so much for speaking life over my kids.
Most of the time we are rubbish friends, we never remember birthdays, we rarely send Christmas cards but I promise you I'll be there at 2am if you need us, and vow to be forever bringers of Irn Bru and Friends one-liners. You are loved and appreciated every minute.
I need to sneak in Terry and Anne Young here, the pastors of Middlesbrough Community Church. You love without gain, you serve without ceasing and you championed us and encouraged us at every opportunity. Youngies we love ya!
And finally to all those who will become part of our lives. Maybe for a season, maybe for the rest of our lives. You are important to us. Sorry for all the times I will forget to tell you that. But you will make an imprint on me and my children. And maybe we will on you too. Thanks.
I think I'm done for now. There are of course many more people I could mention.
But for now , I am no need of flowers, unless I just see them and think my friend will like them.
Actually, I'm enjoying a vase of tulips that my new boss sent me to say thanks.
Wherever you are, there was a journey to get there. Make sure you acknowledge the people who helped you on your way, before the need for flowers.
No comments:
Post a Comment